An oft-quoted phrase is that “Women are the gatekeepers of sex, and men are hte gatekeepers of commitment.”
But this is not really true for commitment or sex. I have a really hard time imagining how a woman could rape me, while men can generally overpower women. What stops men from having sex with any woman they want is a combination of their own decency and other men. For more on this, see Cane’s post. The point is: men, not women, are the gatekeepers of sex.
The phrase “commitment” is a funny beast. What’s important to remember is that a commitment is not a commitment unless you burn the boats—when you can’t go back.
Non-marital “relationships” aren’t commitments, because they can be dissolved at will and there’s no real penalty for leaving them. If I say “Sure, I’ll be your boyfriend,” to a girl and then change my mind the next day, what’s gonna happen to me? Nothing, that’s what.
Marriage, though…you can leave physically, cheat, whatever—but you are still married to that person. This isn’t something the state can obviate. Marriage is the only real commitment.
Who actually makes marriage happen? Or, who is the gatekeeper?
What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
God performs marriage, through his servants. If a man and a woman want to get married, and God doesn’t want them to, it won’t happen.
What to take from this? I’m not sure. But let’s get our aphorisms straight.
Calculated Bravery 