On Sexual Polarity
– The “ideal” member of the opposite sex, from a purely sexual point of view, will be at maximum sexual polarity. Think Christian Grey and a mix between Audrey Hepburn and Jessica Rabbit.
– Sexual polarity is somewhat controllable. Most advice in the manosphere is oriented towards increasing it—men are advised to do things that increase their confidence, to lift, to put energy into their careers, and women are advised to take care of themselves, dress in a feminine manner, and be supportive.
– Sexual polarity is, to some extent, a luxury good. That is: just because something is sexy does not mean that it is always a good idea. If you are bent under the sink, you don’t want to be wearing a miniskirt. If you have work to do, maybe those extra hours at the gym could be cut down a bit.
– Not only do cis characteristics sometimes have to be sacrificed in the name of practicality, but sometimes it even becomes expedient to adopt some behaviors typed to the opposite sex—women pushing harder for raises; men being quiet and supportive of a boss, etc.
– The above explains the “paradox” that in poorer countries there are more women in “typically masculine” professions like engineering. To an extent, the country “can’t afford” sex.
– Those of similar polarity attract. Extremely masculine men and extremely feminine women gravitate toward one another. This does not make them superior, more self-actualized beings—a hard-drinking gym rat construction worker and a flaky stripper are both strongly sexually polarized, and could definitely end up together, but you don’t want to be either one.
– That said, the prevailing ethos in the West generally moves people to a lower level of polarity than they “ought” to be—as in, could stand/afford, and would enjoy.
On Catch-22’s and Effort Sinks
– There exists a class of situations and goals where, after a certain threshold, exerting extra effort fails to provide returns, and may even be detrimental. Examples include: you need a job to get experience/experience to get a job, confidence to build relationships/relationships to gain confidence, relaxation to achieve success/success to be able to relax, and faith to obey/the fruits of obedience to build faith.
– I’ve basically only come across two ways to break these impasses: either avoid them as unproductive in hopes that they will resolve themselves in time or as we labor in more productive arenas, or try to power through one of the steps despite the “necessity” of the other.
On Wanting Absurdly Attractive Women
– “It’s not so much that I’m shallow (although I am of course),” I thought. “It’s that I view the attractiveness of the woman I can attract as society’s opinion on me.”
– “Oh,” I thought. “Women must feel the same.”