In my last post, Should You Be Afraid of Men?, I derived* fairly sensible behaviour for women as regarding men:
Avoid strange men in alleyways. If there are men you trust there, stay close to them.
This can be generalized:
In dangerous situations, be more tribal.
And its corollary:
In safe situations, it’s OK to be less tribal.
It’s important to think about safe situations as well as dangerous ones. True, you should avoid strange men in alleyways. But we don’t live in alleyways. In fact, in the Western World, we live in one of the least alleyway-like places on the planet.
It was only after the U.S. came out of WWII, and its memory was gone from the younger generation, that most of the population felt secure enough for black civil rights and feminism to happen.
Risk Compensation, and Sometimes I write good stuff
Recently there was a minor furor on the /r/theredpill subreddit regarding domestic discipline. I voiced my own thoughts (“A good thing”), and a few days ago got a short private message:
Should men be able to spank their girlfriends when they misbehave?
What are your thoughts on this?
Ever one to bloviate, but worried about quote-mining, I responded:
If by “should,” you mean, “what does dropit_sphere (ED: that’s me on reddit) think is legal?” then, no, of course not. That would probably be classified as assault.
However, if you mean, “what does dropit_sphere think is moral?” then you’re on different ground altogether.
The short answer: I think men should be allowed to spank their wives.
The long answer: I also think people should be more careful about whom they marry. We talk a lot in the sphere about how men should be careful, but divorce rape is a new development. Historically it is women, risking both their eggs and their person, who have needed to be cautious.
But in the modern age, the free out of no-fault divorce (combined with alimony, custody, and child support) makes risky guys much more appealing. The difference between falling out of a plane and skydiving is the parachute.
I suspect more than one feminist dude has been the recipient of a “relief fuck” after some girl stumbles on /r/theredpill and gets horrified. His lack of threat likely becomes much more inviting when compared to the hotbed of misogyny (real or imagined) she has just discovered.
The reason I changed the wording to “wives” above, is because I don’t believe in “relationships.” They exist only to add a veneer of respectability to fornication.
Also, for this particular issue, men will act more responsibly with a wife than a girlfriend. Which do you take better care of: your car, or a rental?
The “skydiving” link above leads to the wikipedia article about the idea of “Risk Compensation,” which is the idea that there is a certain baseline of risk that people are willing to accept. Make their environment safer, and choices that were formerly too dangerous now become tenable. Drivers drive faster with seatbelts on, my “Tribal Tenets” above are oriented at risk reduction in dangerous situations and greater risk-taking in safe situations—it applies to a lot.
What I find especially interesting that I think it applies to: the better women are protected from domestic violence, the more they go after guys who are liable to commit domestic violence. What would have been a slow-motion, bruise-by-bruise death sentence a hundred years ago, would be a thrilling adventure brought to a mundane end involving a divorce court, a battered women’s shelter, and a couple of fatherless kids drawing welfare. All bad outcomes, but certainly better than death. And think of the tingles!
In other words: “Nice Guy Game” likely actually worked when the jerks had real teeth.
If you wanted to get really snarky, put it this way: society picks up the bill for bad mate choice in the form of welfare, police, one billion person-hours of sensitivity training (trigger warnings aren’t needed if there’s nothing to trigger), but has no ability to influence that mate choice (“How dare you tell me whom to date! We’re IN LOVE, Dad!”).
*the hubris of anonymous internet bloggers knows no bounds.